Friday 20 June 2014

The day after Charlies funeral felt very strange. Suddenly we had nothing to organise or focus on, nothing to keep our minds occupied. I think all the planning had almost stopped us from having to face the day to day reality. Now we were faced with having to all deal with how we were feeling.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is such a hard thing to do and whilst it is good to have family around sometimes it can stop you from saying how you really feel as you don't want to upset each other. I wanted to talk about Charlie and share all the memories we had of him but I also was scared of making Carrie feel more upset. Now looking back I can see how ridiculous that sounds. Nothing I could have said would have made Carrie feel any worse. She was dealing with the worst thing that a parent could go through and she also needed to talk about Charlie. Carrie has said she was worried about upsetting us by talking about Charlie too much.

Because none of us knew what to expect, emotionally, I think we sometimes chose to say nothing. Now we know this is a normal grief reaction and talking is the best therapy.

One of the strangest things I found was how people suddenly expected us to be over the death and moving on with our lives. It felt like they were thinking, the funeral is over now its time to get on with things. How could they expect us to move on so quickly, we were trying to come to terms with one of the most traumatic things to ever happen to us. I don,t think you ever get over something like this you just learn to live with the feelings and manage your emotions. I still have good days and bad days and I know the rest of the family do as well. Charlie will always be a huge part of our lives and we need to be able to acknowledge that he was here and he was and is important.




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