It was around this time, two years ago when Carrie went along for her first scan. 

She was full of excitement and anticipation, expecting to hear things such as when her baby was due. 

Instead she walked out of St James Hospital with her world turned upside down.

It hardly feels possible that it was two years ago, it all feels like it was a lot less time.

As this time of year comes around again we start to see a subtle change in Carrie. 

She has been amazingly strong and although she doesn't say much we can tell that she is finding it harder at the moment. 

It is hardly surprising that she is finding it hard and I think she copes with it very well. 

I don't think anyone could approach this time without feeling different, emotional and a little stressed.

It is also now that Carrie starts to think about Charlies birthday, it is a gradual build up to the date. 

She wants each birthday to be a special day where we all get together to celebrate Charlies life and send him love and birthday wishes. 

Just because Charlie is not here to celebrate with us doesn't mean she won't go all out to plan a lovely day for him. 

We find it good to all be together at this time and support each other. 

Last year Charlies birthday was a lovely family time with laughter and smiles. 

It was nice to be together being happy. Carrie didn't want his birthday to be a sad and somber time.

When we first spoke about his party I was worried that some of us might find it difficult to feel positive and happy but when the day came it wasn't hard. 

Yes we all felt amazing sadness that Charlie wasn't with us to celebrate being 1 but focusing on his amazing strength and fight helped us feel pride and love.

We all have our times when we take ourselves off and have down times but we made sure that Charlies birthday is a positive day.

I know that whatever we do on his 2nd birthday we will all do it together and with smiles on our faces. Inside our hearts will be aching but we need to stay positive to be able to get through this and support each other.

Carrie will make sure that she once again honours her son's brief but very special life. 

We all except that the next few months are going to be extra hard for Carrie and we will all always be here for her.

None of our lives will ever be the same but we are are eternally grateful for having known Charlie.

Whatever we can do to make it easier, smoother and less painful for his mummy, we will do.