Easter can be another very difficult time for families who have lost a baby or child.


All the shops are full of Easter eggs or gifts, TV is full of adverts for Easter and getting together as a family. Everywhere you look there are pictures of families all happily enjoying their Easter Day. Even buses and billboards are full of Easter promotional pictures.
Even if you go out to eat over the holidays all the restaurants are full of adverts and special Easter meal deals. There seems to be no escape from it.
Easter is portrayed as being family time and you feel that you are excluded from this on the basis that your child is not here. This can make you feel even more alone and isolated.


If you go back to the origins of Easter you see that it is
supposed to be about celebrating new life and remembering the sacrifice Jesus gave to his followers and his rise from the dead to take his place beside his father in heaven.
This has lost some of its significance over the years as it has become another commercialised celebration. 
Like Christmas, the big companies hijack the true meaning of the story to benefit themselves.
It is sad that we live in a world where money means more than people.


If you are a Christian and attend church over the Easter holidays this can bring conflict to your beliefs. You want to go along and celebrate with your fellow believers but you may also feel conflicted by how could God allow something so awful to happen to your child.
Many will get comfort from going along to their church and being around others that share the same beliefs. Often families have spoken that it has taken them a while to return to their church as they had felt very angry towards God for allowing their loss to happen. Many are now able to return and have found great comfort and peace from going back to the church.


A lot of families will find their own way of getting through this time of year. I know many families that use this extended weekend to do or make things in memory of their child. I have seen Easter pictures incorporating their child' name, baking chocolate crispy cakes for theirs and other families, visiting their child's grave to take some Easter decorations and spending some time there with their angel.
Other families may decide to try and avoid all the celebrations that are going on. They feel like locking themselves away and doing anything else but celebrate.
Whichever way you decide to get through another commercialised 'family time of year' is the right one for you.
Don't feel pressured into feeling that you have to join in if you don't want to. Let people know that this Easter you want to spend some time either with your partner or even alone.
You may wish to buy other children in the family a gift but if you even find this too difficult don't make yourself feel bad or guilty. You can always plan to take them out after the holidays to do something e.g. go to the park or swimming.


Some families find it useful to do something totally different over the holiday period. Maybe take a couple of days away together, or go off and visit places you have wanted to see. Anything that is different to how you would normally have been spending your time can be helpful.
Breaking the routine can also give your brain a break from the worrying of how to act around others who want to be celebrating Easter.


As the years have gone on I find it harder at Easter time when I am buying Easter eggs for my other grandchildren. I will stand there and find my mind thinking of which ones I would be buying Charlie, would he have liked normal chocolate or would he be like his mummy and prefer white chocolate.
It makes you focus on the fact that he would have been 5 this Easter and would have been really involved and excited about the Easter Bunny visiting. How we would have all loved to be standing there this week putting eggs in the trolley for him.


However you decide to get through the holidays remember to go easy on yourself. Life is so hard at times, for you to then be giving yourself a hard time about it. Give yourself time to do what you want to do or need to do to be able to keep going.


Be gentle on your heart.