When is the right time to have another baby after losing one.


With most families the risk of it happening again is very low but the fear of losing another baby can sometimes be too much of a risk for them to take.
There is never a set period of time that a couple should wait before trying to get pregnant again. It is a very personal choice and no two families will be the same.


Some families may go on to get pregnant again very quickly and find it helps them to deal with their grief.


If your baby has died it is so important that you allow yourself time to grieve and try to come to terms with what has happened. Don't put pressure on yourselves to try and conceive again if you are not totally sure it is what you want.
On the flip side don't let others make you feel wrong for deciding to try again so quickly. Unless you have been through this situation you cannot understand, judge or advise them for the decisions they make.


A new baby will never replace the child you lost and it might not ease the feelings of pain and loss. It is important that you see the new baby as a new life that is an individual.


Your doctor may suggest that you try and wait for at least 3 months before trying to conceive. This is to allow your body to return to its pre pregnancy state and all the physical changes your body needs to make.


Some parents however may be so desperate to try again as soon as possible, they feel that they need to fill the void in their lives that their baby has left. Their arms can physically ache with no baby to cradle.
If there has been a medical or genetic reason for your loss then that can have an impact on your decision whether to become pregnant again. You may be advised to have tests or investigations before trying to get pregnant again.


Another pregnancy is going to be filled with stress and anxiety for both parents as well as their extended families.
When a child dies it is not just the parents that are impacted and the other members of the family will also feel the anxieties a new pregnancy will bring.
The father may be feeling anxiety for several reasons, he will not only be worried for the new baby but also for his partner, wondering if things will go wrong again or if the pregnancy will cause medical difficulties for them. He may also be scared that the pregnancy will end in the same way and how would they both be able to deal with this.
Even if the pregnancy progresses normally it will still be difficult for both to feel positive and excited because of the anxieties they have. Those 9 months of pregnancy can feel like an eternity.


Most families that have lost a child will find that they are given much more support through future pregnancies. This can be just seeing the midwife at an earlier time and on a more regular basis to being offered weekly scans to try and allay any worries.


The term given to a baby after a loss is called a 'Rainbow Baby'. After a storm comes a rainbow - This couldn't be more true for the parents. They have been through the worst possible storm they could ever imagine and their new baby is like the rainbow that comes along when the sun comes out.


Several of the families that we have helped and supported have gone on to or are currently expecting their rainbow babies. We are seeing how difficult subsequent pregnancies can be and that their level of support can increase again throughout the pregnancy.
Happily we have now began to receive pictures of several rainbows. It warms our hearts to get these and whilst we know it will have been so difficult for the parents they will also be feeling that a little piece of their hearts has been mended.


Currently we run support groups for families following the loss of a baby or child and we know that not every county has this kind of provision on offer. Support to families can make such a massive difference to them and we have seen parents who have come to us feeling that there was no reason to keep going now starting to take those first steps to healing.


Our next area of support that we want to start is a group for those families that have gone on to have their rainbow baby. They still need help, friendship and support. The feelings they have of anxiety don't go away totally even when their baby is here and they still need a place where they feel comfortable to talk about their worries but can also share the happiness their new child has bought.


If there were specific support groups across the country for families following a loss and then for after when they have had their rainbow baby then these families would be able to access the help they need to move forward.