The decision to have a baby can be a difficult one to make for any family, there are always the worries of how will they cope financially, will they be able to cope with the new life they have bought into the world and how their relationship will change after the birth.

This decision is made so much more difficult when the couple have experienced the loss of a baby or child.

Some will make the decision to try again as soon as possible, often because they feel an enormous gap that they need to fill. Others will be feeling that they will never want to try again as they can't imagine going through another loss and can not see that a further pregnancy could be a positive experience.

There are the families that may have had fertility problems and the thought of having to go through any more heartache is too much to comprehend.

When a family has lost a baby or child they may also be faced with having to wait for genetic testing or postmortem results. The lady may have also had to go through a surgical procedure and her body is adjusting after that. Some ladies also find that it may take some time for their hormones to return to normal an their periods to return.

All of these things makes another pregnancy feel very daunting.


Talking with your consultant, GP or midwife can be a good way of getting your fears and worries out in the open and they can try to allay some of them. 

Talking is so important.

Once you have become pregnant again it can be the beginning of 9 months of worry and fear. Although you are happy and excited to be pregnant again many women say that they are constantly worrying that the same thing will happen again. 

Families that have lost a baby during pregnancy, at birth or shortly after birth and become pregnant again will usually be supported by the hospital and midwife and monitored very closely. Whilst this can help you feel more secure it will never take away the fear altogether.

Many of the families we have supported and that have gone on to become pregnant again speak of how difficult it can be returning to the hospital for their scans. They want to see their baby but the thoughts of their last experiences come flooding back and they feel full of dread. 
Often they will not be able to start to 'enjoy' the pregnancy until they have passed the point when they lost their other baby. There will be many difficult trigger points throughout the pregnancy and each one will be just as difficult to get through.
When families are given the right support throughout, this time can become a positive experience.

A common thing that we hear is that they will never feel relaxed until they have their baby in their arms, healthy and crying. 
Many families have gone on to have another baby and whilst they are so delighted and happy they will never forget the child they lost. The new baby will never replace that child and the family always includes their angel baby in every aspect of their life.

If you know a family that is currently going through a loss or has gone on to have another baby please remember to talk to them about their lost child, it really can make a difference to them.
Also if they do not seem to be receiving the help and support they need please either get in touch with us or tell them that we are here for them whenever they need us.