I recently went on a course through work that was run by Bereavement UK and Elliott's Footprints. 

The course was to enable me to be better equipped to deal with, help and support any children at the school I work going through a bereavement or loss. I also know it will help me with the work in the charity.

It was quite an emotional day as most of the people on the course could recall events from their own lives or work of going through grief.

At the school I work at the children all know about Charlie and many have helped raise funds for our charity. 

As a result of me being very open about Charlie I have found that children in the school who are going through a death in the family seem to come to me for support.

I think the course has helped give me new ways in which to help support these children and has also made me aware of  physical difficulties these children may present with that are actually linked to grief. 

I have known that everyone experiences many emotional and behavioural changes during grief but it shocked me to see what physical changes grief can do.

There has actually been research conducted that has shown that a person going through the death of a close family member or friend can experience a compromised immune system for up to 2 years after the loss. 

This amazed me as no one really takes into account physical difficulties following a loss. 
This information could really help someone who is not being supported at work or school and feels like people are disbelieving them with their illnesses.

This information, for businesses, could really help the person experiencing difficulties actually getting support and help at work.

They also spoke of how peoples concentration and memory can be seriously affected, both adults and children. 
So when I see a child struggling to concentrate or 'zoning out' it might not be that they had a late night or are just being naughty, they could be experiencing a normal reaction to a loss. 

When you work in a school you get to know the kids that are the ones who do zone out as a way of getting out of a lesson but you also get to know the children that this would be unusual behaviour.

The same must be true of adults in a work place.

I used to love to read and would always read every evening before going to sleep. Since Charlie's death I have found it almost impossible to sit and read a book anymore. I can read a magazine as it is in short bursts. I miss not being able to focus on a book and I thought it was probably down to my age but now, after going on the course I wonder if it my bodies reaction to the loss of Charlie.

Many people underestimate the power of grief and loss and dismiss people who are struggling and say things like "are you not over it yet" or " it was ... years ago now". 

This course has made me look at things quite differently and I think I was very understanding of people grieving but it has still made me question how I see children at school. 

I think this kind of training should be offered to all businesses and schools. 
Everyone knows someone who has or is going through a loss and if they understood its effects more and knew ways to support then maybe more people would be able to cope with their grief. 

Support is vital for people grieving, just knowing that there is someone you can reach out to is sometimes enough to help you keep going.

When I return to work I will be meeting with the other staff members to pass on the information and training I have been given.
This will hopefully make our school even better equipped to help and support our pupils.

I wish that this course had been available to school staff when my granddaughters were struggling with the loss of Charlie. They may have been picked up by staff as children who were in need of support.