When you are going through a bereavement or loss there are some days when you actually start to think that maybe life can be 'normal' again.

You begin to enjoy things that you thought you would never be able to deal with again.

It doesn't matter what part of the bereaved family you are, everyone will be affected in a different way, and I do believe that everyone will be affected.

Sometimes the effects may not be obviously apparent to the person or to others but their life will have changed in some way.

It can even take many years for the effects to show up and sometimes they can just happen out of the blue and take the person by surprise.

One minute you can be getting along with your everyday life when 

'BAM' 

it hits you.

Some describe it as feeling like they were just hit by a baseball bat and it totally winds them.

Don't ever underestimate the impact bereavement or a loss can have on you or your family.

There may be times when you try to hide your difficulties away from others because you do not want to burden them. 

You often won't tell other family members as you think that they are going through it as well and it could upset them even more.

You also then think that friends may not want to keep hearing about your problems or won't understand how you are feeling. They have their own lives and you don't want to bother them with yours.

Just remember though that they may be feeling the same and then the issues never get discussed and everyone still feels anxious.


Talking about your feelings is one of the hardest but also the most helpful ways of helping all of you to get through this period in your lives.

Your life will get back on track, maybe a different track, and you will still have days when you feel as if you are out of control. 

But if you support each other and work together then you can feel more in control of your future.


Be kind to yourself and don't expect things to happen too soon.