I have been trying to find out what kind of support is out there for bereaved/grieving  dads.

However, I haven't been able to find much information about what I was looking for. 

For most men it is a process of researching online what is available in their area. 

I think one of the reasons I haven't found much is because most men do not feel like they can tell their story or share how they are feeling out of fear of being looked at as less of a  man or weak.  

We all know that society is not comfortable with an openly grieving person, but they are even more uncomfortable with a man showing his emotions.

This problem comes from men being taught at a young age that they should not show “weakness” and that they have to “be the strong ones”. 

As a result of this they do everything they can to hide their pain and be 'the rock'. 

Men try to take on the role of protector.  

They feel it is their role or duty to help their partners and family through the loss and to keep everything going in the house. 

This approach doesn't work though, it only extends the grief process and can actually delay it for years.

Because most people in society feel uncomfortable with a grieving parent’s pain, they want to try to solve their problem, but they can’t.  

This isn’t something you can have a friendly chat about and expect the person to walk away feeling different or better.  

You cannot solve this problem.

It takes a long time and a lot of pain to realize that you have to face your own grief before you can help your partner through theirs.  

It is important that couples should travel this journey together, helping each other when they can.  

Sands is an organisation that helps both the mums and dads going through a bereavement.

The whole family is welcome to attend their monthly meetings and get support off other families experiencing the same loss.

Most support groups that are out there for men have usually been set up by other grieving dads once they found that there was little out there to provide for their needs. 

Some dads also start up blogs as a way of expressing their grief and as a way of other dads seeing that they are not alone.

  Here are a few ways to help give support to the grieving dads you may know or come into     contact with:

*      Encourage them to talk about what they are feeling and thinking.

*      Remind them that they are not alone.

*      Let them speak openly about their pain.

*      Do not try to solve their problems.

*      Encourage them to find support groups for men.  These groups don't need to be                    specifically grief related. 

*      Do not push them through their grief, allow them to tell their stories in their own                       time.

*      Allow them the time to process what has happened to them.

*      Allow them to turn to or away from their faith as needed.

*      If they start to cry, let them.

*      Let them know you are there for them at any time of the day, and mean it.

These points are just as valid for anyone going through a bereavement and they are good to refer back to when you are helping someone through a loss.

Remember that people that are grieving are very sensitive, so it is even more important than normal to think before you speak. 

If you really don’t know what to say, say nothing.  

There is healing in silence so it is better to sit quietly and listen than to say words that are not helpful.