December is always a difficult month for our family since we lost Charlie. 

Back in December 2012 we were all still busy getting ready for the festive season and were trying to stay strong for Carrie. 
None of us expected that we would meet Charlie in December, his due date had been 22nd February, so we thought we would still have several more weeks with him safe inside his mummy. We all shared our Christmas day with each other and even when Carrie had some stomach twinges we didn't think that it was Charlie getting ready to join us.

Charlie however had very different ideas.

Throughout Carrie's pregnancy, when we went along to her regular scans, Charlie always showed us how strong and courageous he was. The first thing we would always see was his strong little heart pumping away, this always gave us that slight glimmer of hope. Questions would whirl around your head, how could this little baby with such a strong heart beat be so poorly.
None of us were under the illusion that things were going to end positively but it definitely made it harder when you could see him moving slightly and grinding his gums. All of us hoped that Charlie would be the baby to beat the odds of this awful condition.

Christmas is always portrayed as a happy time when everyone gets together and shares happy times, even putting aside any bad feelings or arguments.

We know that this is not always the case. 

Whilst we were in the hospital there were families there all celebrating and excitedly sharing their news,but we also know that there were also several families there that were going through the same as us. 
They were suddenly faced with having to say hello and goodbye to their baby, they were in a place where they could hear other people welcome their babies into the world. Some families, including us, had to remain on the delivery suite hearing babies crying as they took their first breaths. 
We know that this was not what the staff would have wanted for us but the specialist bereavement suite was full. This in itself was heartbreaking as this meant there were several other families that were trying to come to terms with the death of their child.The only way we could be moved round to the Rosemary Suite was when a family made that heartbreaking decision to go home, leaving their baby behind.

Since our own experiences we have come to realise just how many families are affected by baby/child loss across the country. If you have never been touched by a loss you wouldn't even begin to imagine how many families are dealing with this on a daily basis.

All of those families are currently trying to keep functioning through the Christmas and New Year whilst never forgetting their precious 'angels'.

If you are part of a family that has lost their baby/child please try and be gentle on yourselves. Don't worry if you don't feel like celebrating or getting together with friends and family. If you are not able to send out cards, that is ok, you already have enough going around your brain without the extra worry of joining in with the tradition of card sending. Give yourself the space to grieve without worrying.

If you know a family that are trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other over this festive season please don't put extra pressure on them by expecting them to want to join in. 
If you don't get a card or present it isn't personal, they are probably not even able to think about going out to the shops.
If they do want to come along to any family events be ready to share with them the memories of their child. They will probably want to share with you but may feel worried to do so.

Everyone feels awkward when it comes to talking about death and the death of a baby even more so.

It is important to acknowledge and respect what they feel able to join in with, they are still the same person they were before but they now carry their grief with them. 
The person doesn't change but their emotions, experiences and outlook on life almost certainly will. Many families say that they now see what is actually important in their lives and the things that used to worry them no longer do.