Saturday 28 March 2015

Remembering Charlie by Mamma Key

Remembering Charlie

Having four grandchildren makes me feel very lucky, I have 3 living granddaughters and 1 grandson in heaven.

I adore them all.

Keeping up with their daily lives, such as school, after school clubs, new friends, old friends, there never ending bigger clothes and bigger shoes, new photo's, videos,  all documented and all the new things they are achieving on a daily basis.

I am so proud of them and often feel like i'm bursting with pride.

When I think of Charlie it often makes me sad because I have missed out on all of the above with him, yes we have photos and yes we all include him in our lives and we talk about him so often I actually forget he's not here, but the reality is he isn't.  

The photo's we have won't age.

There is no first day at school, no school photo's, no new clothes, no birthdays or special occasions. 

The list is endless for what we will miss out on, I almost feel cheated that he has missed out on those things and not only mourn his passing but mourn all the things I will miss out on.

Grieving is a funny old game. 

The immediate aftermath of losing a son, daughter, grandchild is one of indescribable pain and horror, but looking back at the chaos of those early days, the raw emotion of our loss there was no time to think. 

My brain was incapable of thinking and there was so much going on.

Now 2 years down the line time gives you time to think,mull over things what we are missing, Charlie will always be in our lives and he has achieved so much in his short life and will continue to do so.

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