Through our work we are privileged to meet and work with some of the most amazingly strong families going the most difficult time in their lives. We are always taken aback by how they are able to keep putting one foot in front of the other whilst feeling like their hearts are broken. 

Every family we have met have all got one thing in common, the strength to keep going and spending their lives remembering and honouring the child they lost. 

The death of a baby/child whether expected or unexpected is the most devastating thing to happen to a parent. 

From the moment you find out you are pregnant you start to plan how this little life will affect your lives. You start to dream of what your child will become, who they will look like and what they will achieve. To have this taken from you leaves a gap that can never be filled. 

Whilst you may go on to have other children this gap will always be there. 

Following the death of a baby it is really common for parents to blame themselves and think that they must have done something wrong. They can feel that if they had done something different the outcome might be different. The reality is that it is extremely unlikely that anything you did or didn't do would have changed the outcome.  

Most of the parents we have met or talked to say that they found spending time with their child following the death very helpful in the grieving process. 
To be able to spend time as a family, caring for your child can make it easier to mourn the loss. 
A lot of hospitals have special bereavement units attached to the delivery suite where couples and families can stay following the birth and death. There are also bereavement midwives that can provide support throughout the birth and days to follow. Not every hospital within the UK has a bereavement midwife but this is slowly improving.

The time spent in the bereavement suite is so important in helping you to get to know your child, spend time holding them and taking as many photographs as you want. The midwives will support you through this time and will spend time with you and your child giving you the opportunity to bathe them and dress them. They will also take your child’s foot and hand prints for you and take a lock of your baby’s hair to place in a memory box. 

Following the loss your body is still experiencing all the things a new mum goes through which can cause a lot of distress. You will still experience the tiredness and the production of breast milk. In hospital you may be given medication to help with the production of milk but you will still suffer with breast tenderness. All of these are a constant reminder to you of your loss. 

Remember to take your time to recover, don’t rush it. 

Everyone heals at a different rate and you have to heal both emotionally and physically. 

Remember to take time as a couple to grieve together.

Our goal has always been to make sure that a bereaved family is given the support and help they want and need to help them deal with their loss. Over the last 4 years we have been actively supporting many families and this number is increasing day after day.

It is heartbreaking knowing that the reason we are kept busy is that another family has joined our world of child and baby loss. It is something none of us would ever want to join or even imagine we would join but through it we have made some life long friends and colleagues. 

Being a bereaved family is hard work but if you have somewhere to go or someone to talk to it can take away some of the burden you carry. 
This is what we hope Charlies-Angel-Centre Foundation is able to offer to families and we will continue to do so for many more years.